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If you’re looking to incorporate more sex into your relationship, you might be thinking about taking things “deeper.” Well, if by that you mean opening the door to casual sex with an actual date, then casual hookup sex might not be for you. There’s a sex-app industry based on casual hookups — Grindr, Hornet, Twister, Scruff, Cupid — and while you might think it’s just fun dating apps — without expectations, it’s actually more about the fun. “The standard is that it’s casual, fast, simple, and dirty,” says Los Angeles’ Ian Kerner, author of Sex: An Owner’s Manual. “The good news is you can move people along with you. You can decide what’s going to happen after one event.”
You’ve been dumped, you’re broken up, you’re dating someone new — whatever the case may be, a casual hookup is the perfect way to spend an evening out, away from your troubles. “When a relationship doesn’t work out, people often resort to the stress-relieving tactics of friends, drugs, and alcohol,” says Marsha Jordan, author of My $20 Sex-App. “It’s perfectly acceptable to have someone to turn to when you need someone to take the edge off a difficult situation. Dating app sex can sometimes be that situation.”
Is casual sex bad for you?
In other words, I’m not. Thankfully, I wasn’t at the time of this particular instance, but just an anecdote, taken as a whole, the research doesn’t point to an overall pattern of a boom in casual sex being bad for us. However, here’s where you need to be careful. According to recent studies, becoming a casual hookup — while its form itself isn’t even wrong — might actually be bad for your health. At least if you’re a woman.
It’s bad news if you’re a woman.
The idea of a casual sex relationship in itself is not bad — after all, in the U.S. we are, for the most part, a sexually liberated nation — but for women, the realities of such a relationship are a bit different than guys. Here are four ways that casual sex might be a tad detrimental for women:
First, there are the emotions. As we have seen, casual sex feels good — and there are multiple ways of defining good sex. But things that feel good for
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There are a lot of ways to think about casual sex. You could just use it as a means to get off, in which case the likelihood of your heart melting and your eyes misting over are the only clear markers of whether you’re enjoying yourself. You could treat sex as merely a fleeting feeling. You could view casual sex as something you’ll never go back to. It’s hard to say which perspective is healthier. As we mentioned above, casual sex can be more empowering if you’re seeking it out because you genuinely want to be having sex. You don’t want to define it as something you do just to get it over with, like trying to fill a time slot on your calendar.
Is casual sex bad for you? Like many things in life, there are no hard and fast rules. But, from an evolutionary standpoint, casual sex tends to be a passing phase in most people’s lives. There’s no benefit to it long-term. And, more than most things in life, the consequences of casual sex are more serious and more difficult to outgrow than the sin itself.
Is casual sex bad for you? People’s definition of “casual sex” varies a lot. Think about what you mean. If you mean sex that you’d have an opportunity for you to be in a serious relationship with and make an effort to work on, then that’s not casual. Sex on the fly with someone you’d never consider as anything more than a booty call is casual in some people’s eyes.
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Is casual sex bad for you?
Is casual sex bad for you?
Life is an elaborate game. And for every conceivable reason, we make up rules to play. We don’t tell everyone the same version of the truth, or try to punish those who are happier than ourselves. We accept that people evolve differently.
Yet, we also know that our version of the world is not the only one. And we create our own, bigger, more inclusive games. We are on a journey to becoming better people, yet every step we take is a conforming behaviour.
But if we’re being true to ourselves, we have to admit that we like seeing the rules of the games change. We especially like the rules not being the same as what they were before we walked down the corridors of our younger version of our current selves.
In many ways, life is a game, and each person has their own rules. They are the rules of
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